Leaving You Behind
by Breakmedownx09
Summary: There's a wedding...


Ashley's POV

My parents used to get in these tangents of wanting to move. They would actually search for houses in good towns or neighborhoods for hours on end. After a couple of days of being so hardheaded about moving, it would somehow slip their minds. Whenever they told us we were moving, I believed them, naturally, because they are my parents and anything they said, went.

_I would actually get excited to move; despite the fact I would've left my "friends." Well, that was essentially the only reason I wanted to move—to meet people I could become true friends with. I never really got close enough with someone that I became friends with them. That sounds ridiculous, but it's true. It's not like I never had any friends, because I did. I had a lot of them, if I think about it. I just considered all of them acquaintances more than anything. _

_I did have a group of "closer" friends that I spent the majority of my time with hanging out, eating lunch at school, and occasionally going out to a movie. The thing is, I never got the warm vibe you're supposed to get with friends that enables you to confide in them. I kept so many secrets from them that were begging to come out, one of them being that I was a lesbian. _

_I did have one really great friend, Chloe, way back when dinosaurs still roamed the earth. She was my best friend I ever had. We told each other everything and anything that was on our minds. I got so close with her that I started to like her as more than a friend. I didn't know what it meant at the time and had no idea what to make of it. That was the only secret I kept from her, but I think she kept the same kind of secret from me. _

_To make an extremely long story short, she screwed me over and we stopped being friends. That was probably the most predominant reason why I didn't trust or even want to get close to anyone because I lost someone who I thought cared about me the same way I did her, but I was sorely mistaken. _

_The thing that got me was the fact that no one cared that I didn't tell anyone any of my secrets or unleashed my feelings about anything. But then I met someone who wouldn't let me do anything, but make me get closer to her._

_She forced me to open up and tell her what was on my mind. I felt so comfortable doing so that it was almost natural for me to open up to her. I was so comfortable with her that I admitted to her I liked girls. She was really cool with it because she liked girls, too. It was too perfect. _

_We got really close to each other and really quick, that it felt like our connection was instant. We spent countless amounts of times, just hanging out, flirting with each other until I finally told her how I felt about her. She was more important to me than anything in my life at that point and I wanted her to know that. She told me she felt the exact same way and that she couldn't live without me. _

_We instantly became a couple, but we told no one for a very long time. We didn't know how our parents would react so we figured it would've been better to just keep it as it was._

_We were in our junior year of high school and we had been going out for about a solid year without any problems because we were perfect for each other. It seemed like nothing could go wrong—as if we were invincible. I knew we were too young, but I wanted to ask her to marry me, but that's when my parents told me we were moving._

_Of course, as usual, I just blew if off because I didn't think they were going to go through with it, but I was wrong. _

_Pretty soon, I realized they weren't kidding and we were moving. And we weren't moving somewhere in the same state or even the next state over, but across the country. _

_I can still remember that conversation with Spencer; even though I'd rather it escape my memory. It was just two weeks before I was going to move when I told her. I didn't have the courage or the emotional strength to tell her any earlier, so finally I just called her up to come over. She came over and I escorted her outside. I didn't want to tell her inside because I didn't know how emotional we were going to get. If anyone caught us, we would've had to come out to my parents and I definitely wasn't up for that. _

_So, we were walking on the sidewalk and I could tell Spencer knew something was up, but she didn't say anything. Instead, I blurted, "I'm moving, Spencer." _

_She seemed a little shocked, but she laughed it off. She said, "You're such a bad liar." _

_I had a very serious face on that I guess Spencer didn't instantly catch. I hesitantly said, "I'm moving to Baltimore in two weeks." _

_She laughed even harder and said, "Stop being such a drama queen. You're not moving, just get over it."_

_Prior to that conversation, I used to tease my friends and tell them I was moving. I did it just as a joke and I did a pretty good job because 95 % of the time, I would trick them all. But then it got old and everybody knew I was teasing. I even did it to Spencer a couple times. That's probably why she didn't believe me. _

_I grabbed her arm to get her attention. She turned around and I looked at her seriously. I said, "Spencer, I'm being serious."_

_That was the only time I never wanted to see her eyes. They were so heart-broken and just ready to erupt with tears. I never saw her eyes like that before. Before that, her eyes expressed nothing but joy and happiness, but they were slashed away at that moment. I never want to see those eyes again. _

_She hesitantly breathed out, "What?" _

_I tried to come up with a decent excuse, "I would've told you sooner, but-" _

_Her voice broke, "But what, Ashley? You don't think I could've handled it?" She paused a few moments. "Well, you're right." She ripped her arm out of my hand, but I think she quickly realized she didn't really want to do that. I couldn't do anything but stare at her eyes. The pain I felt from her eyes was unbelievable. I felt as if the tears that were about to extract from her eyes, were going to start flowing from mine. They didn't, though because her eyes beat mine to it. She tried as hard as she could to hold it back, but the struggle was too much so she let it out. She immediately covered her face as if she was embarrassed for me to see her like that. _

_I pleaded kindly, "Spencer… please talk to me." _

_She disclosed her face, bringing my eyes directly back to hers. She sniffled to stop crying, but cried harder as soon as she said, "Why are they doing this to us?" _

_I felt her pain as soon as she said that—all of her pain. Instead of allowing myself to cry, I brought Spencer close to my body to hold her. Spencer was going hysterical at that point. We were so in love and to be told we weren't going to see each other again, got to me at that moment. Her weeping silenced my own cries out for help—for a way to make that stop._

_That's all I can really think about without crying my heart out. That was the hardest day of my life, besides the day that I moved. That day wasn't too bad while it was happening, but as soon as I got to my house in Baltimore, it hit me hard. _

_That day seems a little more distant in my memory, but I think I can manage to recall it._

_It was exactly two weeks after I broke the news to her. I was over at her house to say our good-byes. It was something I never wanted to do, but I had to do it, I just had to hope I was going to see her again in the future. _

_We stood in each other's arms, crying our hearts out. There was nothing we could do or say to stop me from moving. I felt helpless that I couldn't stop her from crying so I made her a promise that I never kept. _

_I pulled away to look at her and wipe her tears away. I said, "I'll come back for you. I promise." That's when I heard my phone ring, telling me to go home. I took her into my arms again. I didn't want to let her go, but I did. I went home to finish packing to move across the country._

Kyla snaps me out of daydreaming. She says in an annoyed tone, "Are you ready yet?"

I quickly look at her and then around the room to get a good understanding of where I am. I say, "Yes. I'll be out in two seconds."

Kyla replies in an even more annoyed tone quickly, "You better. We're leaving now." She walks out of the room as I close up everything and scatter it back into my makeup bag. I pick myself up from the seat and take one last glance at myself before heading out the door.

***

My dad walks me down the aisle, acting as if was the day. Well, tomorrow's THE DAY, but today is just the rehearsal. The bride-to-be and I decided I would go down the aisle first. Actually, I persuaded her to let me go first so that I could watch her walk gracefully towards me on the actual wedding day.

We don't go step by step like the actual day because it'll take too long. Before I know it, I'm standing relatively close to Father Smith as I watch my baby walk down the aisle. I can't help but smile when I see the big grin on her face.

Usually you're supposed to be more than nervous before you get married, but I'm not one bit nervous. I don't have the jitters, the butterflies or the worries that come with "the-day-before-the-wedding" feeling because this is something that should've been done a long time ago.

***

We drive back to my house for everyone to take possession of their cars to drive home. My girl stands with me to wave off those who drive. She sticks around a little while to have a moment to ourselves. She gives me a huge smile as she turns around to wrap her arms around my neck. I situate my hands around her waist to implant the feeling of her in my brain for the night because I won't be with her until later tomorrow. I smile back at her and say, "Can you believe we're getting married tomorrow?"

She reassures, "Yea, I can. And we're going to be Mrs. And Mrs. Ashley Davies." She crinkles her cute little nose.

I say in a sexy manner, "I like the sound of that." I smirk and she happily smiles. I place my lips quickly on hers. Then I release her from my arms so she can get some sleep tonight. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

She nods her head and says, "Of course." I watch her proceed to her car to drive off.

I walk up to my bedroom, hoping to get some sleep as well. I get dressed for bed, but I end up lying on my bed, thinking about everything. For some reason, I began to think about Spencer again. She's been on my mind a lot lately. I begin to flashback to when we met again.

_I had this big interview with an executive about my music career in New York City that day. I was so nervous that I was actually shaking a bit. I was so nervous and out of my environment that if someone where to have called my name, I wouldn't have heard it. _

_So I was walking through the main entrance of the building when I heard my phone going off. I continued to walk as I scattered through my bag, searching for my phone. After a few moments of not finding it, I got frustrated and just paid attention to my bag, not caring about what or who was around me. Before I knew it, I rammed into somebody. _

_Her things flew all over the place, as my phone seemed to follow. I quickly picked up my phone and proceeded to help her gather her belongings. She didn't bend over to help ME to pick up HER things, which bothered me a little bit until I saw who it was. My arm stuck out to hand her the papers as my jaw dropped considerably. I asked, "Spencer?" _

_Spencer's movements were slow as she grabbed her stack of papers. She asked in a confused tone as well, "Ashley?" _

_I had to break the tension so I said, "How have you been?" _

_She snapped back into reality and said, "I've been good. How about you?" _

_My voice sounded a bit raspy so I cleared it before I continued. I said, "Good." _

_We stared at each other for a little bit without saying anything. We exchanged quick smiles, but that was it. Finally she said, "Well, I better let you go." _

_She started to walk away, but I wasn't going to let her do that. I hadn't seen her in five years and that's all she expected to say to me? That was a conversation someone would have with someone who they really didn't like, but had to act like they did just to please them. No, we didn't have that kind of relationship. Ours was a little more complex than that. _

_I got her attention by saying, "Wait, Spencer." She turned around and looked at me with a puppy dogface. "You want to grab a cup of coffee in a couple hours? I know this little café down the street…" _

_She had the face that wants to break something easily to another person. She said, "I don't know…I really-"_

_I persisted, "I'd really like if you did." Now I had the sad puppy dogface, which she wasn't able to resist. _

_She could tell she couldn't refuse to smile. She said, "Okay." _

_And so we did. We met up at the coffee shop later on. We were having a good conversation about what was going on in our lives at the time, but there was something gnawing at me. I had felt so guilty for not keeping my promise. I told her I was going to go back for her, but I never did. I never had the means to and I still didn't at that point. I would've tried harder if I knew I wasn't going to see her for five years. So after a long, drawn out pause, I said something about us. I said, "Spencer, you know I tried everything I could to come back to you, right?" _

_She replied in a sullen tone, "Yea I know." _

_I began apologizing, "I'm so sorry that I…" _

_She interrupts me, "No, don't be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for." I sat there blankly, not knowing what to do or say. She got angry a little bit in her tone as she said, "You don't have to be sorry for not calling, writing or texting me."_

_I defended myself, "I was waiting for you to contact me because I didn't want to force you to talk to me if you didn't want to." _

_She replied quickly, "You really think I wouldn't have wanted to talk to you?" She shrugged her eyebrows, but I could tell she was irritated with me at that point. "I spent countless numbers of hours, waiting to hear from you while I cried my heart out." _

_I said sincerely, "I'm so sorry Spencer." I tried to grab her hand to show I really mean it, but she shoves it away. _

_She said crossly, "Forget about it." _

_I said in a confused tone, "Forget about it? How can I do that?" I pause. I say calmly, "Do you want me to forget about us?" _

_She looked at me straight in the eye and said, "Maybe that would be better."_

_I almost started crying because of how frustrated I was getting. I said, "So you wish __**we**__ never happened?" _

_She replied quickly, "I never said that!" _

_I raised my voice a bit, "Well it sure sounded like it!" _

_She gathered her mess and put her bag over her shoulder as I confusedly watched. She said in a fake pleasant tone, "I'm done having this conversation. Have a nice life, Ashley." _

_I sat there for a while, trying to figure out what had just happened. I was confused, frustrated, and angry all at the same time. And above all, I was purely disgusted with myself for letting her go when I had the chance to make everything back to normal or at least better. _

I let out a big sigh. I shouldn't even be thinking about this right now. I'm getting married tomorrow to the love of my life. I shouldn't be hung up on the past because no matter what, I can't change it. I let out another big sigh and say, "Oh my God."

I dip my head into my pillow to allow myself to get some sleep.

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_The Next Morning _

I didn't realize how much was required to get ready before a wedding. My mom, Kyla, and I were rushing from one task to the other to get everything accomplished before arriving at the church. On top of that, my mother bawled her eyes out a few times because she's sad to see her little girl getting married, but I think it's also because she's happy I'm getting married to the perfect person. It made my head spin a few times. Thank God I'm only getting married once.

***

The wedding hymn begins to play, cuing my dad and me to begin down the aisle. I can feel the slow pace in Dad's steps, procrastinating from seeing his daughter get married. Why must parents be so dramatic at theses kinds of events? But I obey his wishes and move as slowly as he pleases, but he's going to have to give me up at the altar.

After a few moments, we actually reach the altar and Dad hesitantly releases me from his arm. I stand at the altar, looking down the aisle to watch her walk towards me. The hymn begins again and I instantly see her beautiful eyes staring at mine. She had a smile from ear to ear and I can't help but smile back.

Before I know it, she's at the altar, standing next to me, holding my hands as we stand in front of the crowd. There are not too many people here, but the fact that we're standing in front of everyone; about to profess our love to each other, makes me nervous.

Father Smith begins, "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today…" I lose him at that. I'm too busy staring at my girl in amazement that I'm about to be married to her in a few minutes. Pretty soon I hear from Father Smith, "Do you, Ashley Davies, take Spencer Carlin, to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward, until death do you part?"

I don't hesitate my response, "I do."

As Father begins to ask Spencer the same thing, she mouths to me, "I love you."

I smirk, "I love you too."

That wasn't in the rehearsal…

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_Wedding reception _

As always, the husband and the wife get the whole dance floor to themselves, so there is no difference with this wedding. Well, except that the dance floor is girls only.

I gently grab Spencer's hand to bring her to the dance floor. I hold her close to my body as we slowly move across the room. I say calmly, "You looked absolutely gorgeous today."

She says, "Thank you. You looked so beautiful in that dress."

I inform, "Kyla picked it out."

Spencer nods her head in small notions. She says, "Well, then _she's_ got good taste." She waits a few seconds and then continues. "Maybe I should've married her." I roll my eyes while maintaining a smile. "I'm just kidding. You're the only one I want to be married to."

I say bluntly, "Well that's good to know." We chuckle. I say out of the blue, "Could you imagine if I never called you that day in New York to make up with you?"

Spencer shakes her head in a calm manner. She says, "Let's not even think about that. Today has been more than wonderful—let's not spoil it."

I chuckle quietly. I say, "Okay." She comfortably places her head on my shoulder as we continue to sway our bodies in unison. I whisper, "Hey, guess what?"

She picks her head up and whispers back, "What?"

I lean in towards her ear and whisper, "I love you."

I pull back when she says, "I love you, too."

Our lips connect for a few moments before the song ends and we sit down in our designated seats.

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The Next Day

Spencer and I decided we weren't going to spend money on a honeymoon for our wedding. Instead, we decided to put that money towards a new house. But the "new" house we're moving into isn't brand new. It's actually my old house in L.A., before I moved to Baltimore. The residents _we_ sold it to put the house up for sale and it caught our eyes by accident, but that was a good thing. So the day after the wedding is being used to pack up to move. We should be out in a few days, but we still have a lot to pack from our apartment.

I hear Spencer using the packaging tape on a box as I label each box to be shipped out. I come across a box that has my clothes in it. There is one particular piece of clothing in there that got me into a lot of trouble one time. I take out the shirt and wave it towards Spencer as I say, "Hey, remember this?"

She turns to look. She scuffs her voice, "Yea. That's when that girl couldn't keep her eyes off of you at that party."

"And remember how mad you got?"

"Yea, that's because you liked her checking you out while I was standing right there!"

I chuckle. I say, "Oh, please." I let some time go by before I tease her. "Did you see that girl whose eyes wouldn't keep off of me at the wedding?"

She turns back to her work. She grabs her clipboard to check off what we have done. She asks, "Did you like it?"

I say directly, "No."

She murmurs, "Coulda fooled me by the way you said it."

I pick myself up and walk towards her. I go behind her to wrap my arms around her waist. I say quietly, "Your eyes are the only ones that matter. Your eyes are the ones I want to come home to everyday."

Spencer smiles and turns around to kiss me passionately. She pulls away and teases, "We can't be fooling around anymore. Otherwise, we're never going to leave."

I lean my lips into her as I say, "I think ten minutes to ourselves won't hurt…" I walk her over to the couch to continue to kiss her again and again.

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_A few days later _

I've only moved once in my life and that was a terrible and horrific experience that I will never forget. When I left, I didn't only leave my house and friends behind, but I left Spencer, who is the absolutely best person I know and I'm grateful fate assigned me to her.

When I left, I made her a promise that I would go back for her, but I didn't. Instead, I decided to let fate have the only say in me ever seeing Spencer again. I now know to not do that anymore because who knows where it could lead me. Instead, I married her to make her a promise that I will forever keep. I made the promise that if moving ever becomes necessary in the future, she's moving _with_ me. And any milestones we encounter in the future, we will go through together because I will never make the mistake again of leaving her behind.


End file.
